SqB=DP


Einstein's equation is surely the most famous equation in history. The second position has never been contested, but SqB=DP may be in line for that distinction for its contribution to our understanding of evolutionary history.

Research conducted by the scientists at the Center for the Advancement of Peripheral Thought proposes that the dinosaurs disappeared because the cold weather of the ice age sent their main source of food underground.

Dinosaurs had notoriously bad eyesight. Coupled with that, they had trouble with balance when they tried to bend over, head to the ground. Bananas were bright yellow, when ripe, and grew high up in the banana trees. They were ideal food for dinosaurs.

When the ice age came the bananas went underground, to save themselves from freezing. Tendrils ran down from the trees to the little bananas, growing under the ground. Because they were cold, they shrunk, and they grew shells to help them stay warm. To survive the cold and the food shortage, the dinosaurs grew smaller--their new food supply wouldn't really support traditional dinosaur size--and grew fur.

The shape and relative size of a dinosaur's head, its shorter forelegs, big hind quarter, and the long tail, all reduced, and covered with fur: it looks like a squirrel. And of course it used to be one--before the ice age. Those little shelled fruits--they aren't really nuts--growing in clusters at the ends of those tendrils were originally bananas.

The equation now inspiring evolutionary scholars is elegant and precise: SqB=DP.

If you feed bananas to squirrels, you know what you'll get: squirrels times bananas equals dinosaurs times peanuts.